I’m Alone, not Lonely (Heat -1995)

Being single is no longer an exception but an increasingly common reality. In many cases, it is a choice, not because something or someone is missing, but because in solitude, people find balance—a space to grow, reflect, and live at their own pace. Yet, despite this condition being shared by a growing portion of the population, the social stigma surrounding those who live alone persists.

Being Alone: Why Is It Still a Taboo?

We live in a society that celebrates couples and groups, often ignoring or downplaying individuality, even though social trends, especially in the West, move in the opposite direction. This creates a kind of cultural schizophrenia: on the one hand, there is a push to expand the ego (I’m worth it!), and on the other, increasing pressure to build a family at all costs. And so, the questions come rolling in, especially during the holidays—not just from nosy relatives but also from friends who have “settled down”: “Don’t you feel lonely?” “Don’t you think it’s time to find someone?” The pressure builds, even when being alone is neither a temporary situation nor an accident but a deliberate choice.

Being alone is often seen as a state of incompleteness, as though a fundamental piece of the puzzle is missing. Yet statistics tell a different story. In Italy, according to ISTAT, 37.4% of households consist of just one person. People who live alone are no longer a minority but a significant part of society. So why do we persist in treating them as exceptions?

The Rise of Single-Person Households: An Inevitable Change

The number of people who live alone is rising worldwide. It’s not just young professionals in big cities, as advertising narratives might suggest, but also individuals who, at some point in life—perhaps due to unforeseen circumstances—seize the opportunity to prioritize their own company. Society, however, is still not ready to fully embrace this transformation.

Services, spaces, and even social dynamics are still designed for a collective that is changing shape. This is why it’s important not only to normalize but also to celebrate this choice.

The Single Life: Freedom or Challenge?

The reality is that living alone comes with challenges but also great advantages. There are no compromises, no arguments about what movie to watch or what to cook. There is space for oneself, for passions, and for exploring one’s authenticity.

However, it’s impossible to ignore that the world is designed for couples or groups, and the price to pay for singles is often higher. Literally.

Restaurants: Tables designed for two or groups make it difficult for one person to dine alone in terms of space and social perception. Additionally, single portions cost more than dishes meant for sharing. Even in restaurants, the world is designed for couples and groups. I delved deeper into this topic in an article on Mister Godfrey, where I explored how restaurants could become more inclusive for single customers. Read it here.
Travel: Hotel rooms rarely offer rates for one person, with single-room supplements sometimes adding up to 30% more to the cost of a stay.
Household expenses: Rent, utilities, subscriptions, and even grocery shopping are more expensive when they can’t be shared with someone else.

It’s no surprise, then, that many single people choose to share their lives with a pet. Cats, dogs, and other furry companions become an important daily presence, offering unconditional affection and a sense of stability. This trend enriches singles’ lives and represents a fascinating social phenomenon worthy of further exploration.

Solitude as a Space to Be (Even in Society)

Solitude, when chosen, is not a withdrawal from the world but a resource for living better within it. It is a reflective space that helps us realign with ourselves without giving up on society or community.

As Hannah Arendt wrote, solitude is the place where we can think deeply, cultivating ideas and insights that enable us to act with greater awareness. It is not a refuge but a solid foundation from which to be present and authentic in the world.

Sri Aurobindo, with a more spiritual perspective, saw solitude not as isolation but as an inner state where one can access their deepest truth and then translate it into concrete action in daily life. Solitude thus becomes a tool for personal and collective transformation.

Devdutt Pattanaik, an Indian writer who explores the symbolic meaning of narratives, invites us to reconsider the stories we tell ourselves and others. In this sense, solitude can be an opportunity to rewrite one’s story, freeing oneself from social expectations and recognizing the value of a full life even without constant company.

An Invitation to Change

Being alone is not a limitation but a freedom. It’s time to recognize that living alone, dining alone, or traveling alone should not require courage but should simply be normal. Solitude is not a lack but a choice that deserves respect.